Saturday, April 12, 2008

What...again?!?

O, man...I did it again! If I don't stop doing this, I will probably develop a very bad habit.
I am talking about neglecting my daily prayers.
And to neglect my daily prayers is a very bad habit!
I have been a member of the Blue Army for about 28 years. Every day, we say the Rosary. We make the Five First Saturdays. We offer daily duties, and make sacrifices in reparation to the Immaculate Heart of our Holy Mother. We practice Chastity through the Brown Scapular of Mt. Carmel; we work to qualify for the Sabbatine Privilege.
All of that, plus trying to stay in the habit of my new daily prayers...those of the Opus Angelorum, of which I will happily be a member in just a couple of weeks. The Daily Angelus Domini ~ three times a day ~ plus the morning consecration to my Angel. Keeping myself in the Presence of God. Learning to keep silent so as to better hear what my Angel is trying to tell me. Other prayers, other Angels to whom I love to pray ~ St. Michael, the great warrior and patron of Artists; St. Gabriel, the great messenger of God and patron of the Clergy, St. Raphael, the great healer and patron of Travelers and happy meetings.
All of this, and I profess to be so devoted?? HA!
What gives a person like me the right to claim any such thing?
I am not as good as I would like to be as far as keeping up with the day-to-day. And to be sitting here, laid up with my leg broken as I am, one would think that I had nothing but time to devote to prayer!
If I were a nun, it would be my life...
The late great Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen once said that to hear nun's confession was like being stoned to death with popcorn. I can only imagine the "sins" that someone like St. Therese the Little Flower must have had on her conscience...what would have been so terrible that she could have done...that which would have sent her running to the confessional box?!? That wonderful, kind, loving, peace-filled dove of God ~ that saintly woman of such merit that at the ripe old age of twenty-four, she qualified to be labeled a Doctor of the Church?!?
No, dear hearts, I cannot imagine that she had anything worse than the tiniest of faults, if anything at all, to confess!
As it is...I am no nun.
I am a housewife, a mother (now a grandmother, as of five days ago) . I have no Mother Superior looking over my shoulder, keeping tabs on my spiritual life, watching to make sure I stay devoted.
I am an artist as well...and I confess to having spent much more time sitting here, working on drawings and such...not as much as I should spend on prayer and spiritual reading.
I am going to have to take my (lately) life into better stock here, I can see that!
First of all, did I remember ALL of my morning prayers? Did I remember my daily Rosary? Did I say the ENTIRE thing? only about twelve to fifteen minutes here, people...not a big deal...not so much to ask, eh?
Did I remember to offer up all of my trials and sufferings ~ and, oh yeah, my joys ~ throughout the entire day, all for the glory of God? for the honor of the Sacred Heart? Did I even give my Angel a thought at the proper times for the Angelus? did I talk to him at all, ask him to help me stay on the straight and narrow, no matter what the temptation?
And on towards evening...the final salute to the Angelus (again)? the nightly examination of conscience? the bedtime offering to Our Lord, thanking Him for all that He may have sent me to offer? telling Him how sorry I am for any sin I may have committed during the day? (like neglecting my prayers?) ...or everything else...sins against Charity, against Chastity, against the Church?
And while we're on that subject...how about showing example to others, eh? Did I do my part? Do I let my light shine before my children? Did I remember to be that dime among the pennies?
Or did I persist in my laziness, my neglect...
I would love to be able to offer to Our Lady and to Her divine Son all that I am and all that I have, like everything I give to Them is a single rose, and I would surround Them in an eternal garden. As in my last post, I said I was going to follow more closely the devotion of St. Louis de Montfort...and for someone like him, who I am sure, did NOT forget a single "Hail Mary" any time throughout his entire life...and here I am, sitting here, thinking of how bad I am.
I'll bet the Saints did not have to face this; I'll bet that when they made up their minds to be better, or to practice more virtue, a better prayer life, they were actually better at it!!!
Seems to me I have a long way to go...better start today.

1 comment:

Heather said...

I am guilty of not getting all the prayers I should get in, every day.

You've inspired me more and more with your words, Jenn.

Thank you, God bless...
Heather
xox