Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Am I Crazy?!?


"Crazy."
This is the name of the song that is playing in this movie we are watching right now ~ me, my daughters Theresa & Laura.
And the sudden inspiration hit me to write about being "crazy" myself.
There is a story about St. Gerard Majella, where he was kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament. This was during the middle of the night and his fellow brothers were smiling at his penchant for staying up until all hours to worship when he could have been asleep. He told Our Lord that he was being called crazy, and Jesus laughed and told him that he was.
Gerard then told Him that even tho' He was the one cooped up in a small box on a table, the Creator of the entire world, able to do whatever He wanted, He chose to keep hidden to all but to those who had the Faith to "see" Him...
"And yet, You tell me that I am the crazy one?!?" Gerard exclaimed.
Thinking about this, I am reminded of the fact that, for months now, I have been unable to go to my weekly Adoration on Wednesdays...exposed @ our parish every week...and I miss it so much; I can't wait until I can drive again, so I can get over there for more than the obligatory Sunday Holy Mass. To receive so much more additional grace is indeed a tremendous gift from our God.
While I was searching for a picture to post with this entry, I came across this absolutely gorgeous altar from the parish of Our Lady Star of the Sea in Wales. At this link is posted an explanation of the symbolism carved into the altar itself, along with other symbolism used.
http://www.llandudno-catholic-church.org.uk/news051113.html
The other day, my husband Michael and I were out for breakfast, him driving of course, and I asked him to stop @ the mailbox. As we were pulling away, he asked me if I felt up to driving home (about four blocks away); we pulled over and I got behind the wheel...my first time in over three months. It felt strange at first, but only for a minute. As I drove away it began to feel "right" ~ and I had no trouble with feeling the brake pedal beneath my broken leg...
This gave me hope, but he is still reluctant to let me drive more than a few blocks; I can put pressure on my leg now, but I am still not able to drive for miles. I would never do anything to put myself or any other drivers at risk, and above all, not to worry my beloved,...so I am staying away from driving for the present.
Maybe in another few weeks...
In the meantime, I place myself in His Presence, both mentally and in my heart. I visit Him every day through my Angel, sending Friend on errands as often as it occurs to me. Asking him to please rush with all the speed of an Angel to the altar ~ adore Him for me please! Ask for any available grace to help my loved ones, strangers who won't ask for themselves, for myself.
Pictured here is the Tabernacle from my own church, on the back wall, behind the altar itself, before we had it restored and the church rebuilt.
As in any parish where the Eucharist is the center of all worship, our Tabernacle is always up front and center. It was before, it is now.
There are many, many parishioners there who are devoted to His Hidden Presence...whenever we go, there are always others there.
I have been a member of many parishes in my lifetime, and nowhere have I ever lived where He was so in the forefront of the peoples' minds...but here, He is always first.
This is why I love my parish. This is why I can't
wait to be able to drive again. So, then as I pass by, I can stop in for a quick "hello" as I was always wont to do in the past...just to see Him, be with Him in person, kneeling before Him.
I do have my walking stick now, and I am able to get around better than before; as a matter of fact, this past Saturday I was able to get myself up to the Communion rail and I actually knelt @ the Consecration, and also during the Communion ceremony! It felt so good...
I can see that soon I will be back to normal; I will be kneeling again all the time, just like I used to. I will be driving by and stopping in again, just like I used to.
Call me crazy, but I am in love with Him in the Eucharist...and I cannot wait until I can spend my time before the Tabernacle, just like St. Gerard...with my Angel @ my side, in person!
And if I never break my leg again, it will be fine with me ~ I have missed too much already...

2 comments:

Sandy said...

Haven't talked to you in a long time. I have been off the blogging scene for the past several months. I had no idea of your injury. I am sorry. I have missed all my friends on the net. God Bless you for your faithful witness even in the midst of suffering!
Sandy+ (from Yahoo 360)

~~JennD.'J.M.J.'~* said...

Sandy!
Always happy to hear from you! :)
I had to smile @ your comment and it reminded me of an encounter with Fr. Val, who asked me if I had asked permission to break my leg. When I told him that I hadn't but had thanked Him for something to offer up, he was quite pleased! lol...